Country Mugs

Hip/ hip-hop replacements.

Life is simpler in the sticks.

"Looks like we found the issue."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

2021

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Copycats

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Showbiz Awards

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

"His first out-of-body experience."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."