Junk Mail Junkie Pillows

The birth of junk mail.

Man sees box on street labeled Mail-Mail.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Homo Gamus

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Fast Food Menu Selections

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Nutrition-Free Diet

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'At least he's honest.'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

'George always was a hog for fast food.'

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

Dad's Dinner: The Best in Frozen Foods.

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

Couch potato.

Pizza-Matic

Junk Mail

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."