Junk Car Jester Gifts

"I hate it hen the red oil light comes on!"

Dog fetching clown shoes.

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How about a nice saloon?'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Purpose of visit?'

At The Clown Bank.

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

'Power steering.'

'You'll get a new lease on life if your HMO will pay the rent.'

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

"I'm no longer afraid of doctors. It�s the medical insurance men that frighten me!"

"Since I know you got your book report off the internet, and you know I got my math lesson off the internet, I guess we're even."

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

Suicide by overeating.

'I feel a lot better! I hacked into your computer and reduced my insurance co-pay.'

'If you're going to send messages on the office intranet make sure you know who's going to get them.'