Junk Car Jester Gifts

"I hate it hen the red oil light comes on!"

Dog fetching clown shoes.

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'How about a nice saloon?'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to start an aggressive course of billing you."

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Purpose of visit?'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

At The Clown Bank.

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

'Is he taking the piss?'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

'Power steering.'

'You'll get a new lease on life if your HMO will pay the rent.'

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

"Stop! You still need to see the receptionist about your co-pay."

"I'm no longer afraid of doctors. It�s the medical insurance men that frighten me!"

"Since I know you got your book report off the internet, and you know I got my math lesson off the internet, I guess we're even."

No Junk Mail

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

I'm glad Twig's injuries aren't serious. Even so, her emergency room visit was $972. The good news is we've got health care. There's bad news. The deductible is $1,500. That's no so bad. One more accident and we can collect! Teddy! Got a job for you!

'I feel a lot better! I hacked into your computer and reduced my insurance co-pay.'

Suicide by overeating.