Junior Banker Gifts

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Great Chinese Dynasties

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Spot the difference.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"What's a debenture?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Wall St. or True Love.

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

The economy.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

E.U. Banking Union.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!