Future Bankers Gifts

Cool. The tooth fairy put a few bucks in my PayPal account last night.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"So much for password protected."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'Bedtime stories at the Browns'.'

'He's precocious.'

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

I Want to be a Drone President

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

Overdraft limit.

"Good God! Has the dollar fallen that far?"

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

Foreclosed