Future Investors Gifts

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

A child runs an equity stand.

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'Your future looks charming.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'What my stocks did during my summer vacation...'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'He's precocious.'

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

Goldilocks Investments: Too hot...too cold...just right.

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.