Jungle Royalty Admirers T-Shirts

"We've had complaints from the local residents regarding nuisance calls."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"Tarzan no want computer."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

"And to think he started in accounting."

tiger strangling snakes

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Rudyard Kipling

Leopards do change their spots

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'Tarzan'

Rain forest: 'You are here - tomorrow you will be here'

Jungle Olympics