Jungle Royalty Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Really? Dad is called the "King of the Jungle"! Does it mean I'm a princess?"

"He's the King of the Jungle but I'm the power behind the throne."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

Spider's Web Trampoline

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

Leopards do change their spots

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'Tarzan'