Jungle Crooners Gifts

Lion Choir.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

Tigers brass band, "Tiger rag-that's what it's all about."

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

'Dress it up any way you want, it's still just doing laundry.'

'I'll count to ten thousand: Go and hide...'

"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

'It's chaps like you who are the backbone of these expeditions,Fanshaw.'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

Mowing the Jungle

Reptilian trauma.

Modern animal communication

"So, how were the first few bites?"

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"May be I should part my hair on the right."

"We were wondering if you could take the bodywork seminar elsewhere."

'These constant fights for territory mean that I don't have any male friends...'

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

"His online profile said he was a "silverback", but in fact, he was just old..."

'I hear there are some mighty big deer in these woods.'

Undiscovered in 1492, Undiscovered in 1776, Undiscovered in 1969

'Why did Tarzan name his chimp cheetah?'

'Bursitis.'

'No, I haven't seen an orthodontist about it — I'm a rhinoceros, dummy!'

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'

'Face facts, Larry — even for an elephant you're fat!'