Jungle Artist Gifts

"I've been taking lessons."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Danger Slow Sand.

'Guy comes up with one interesting theory about special relativity, suddenly he thinks he's freakin' Einstein,'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

Tigers brass band, "Tiger rag-that's what it's all about."

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Too much monkey business...

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Today's lesson, the rainforest.

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

'Well doctor that will be the Mabato Tree Snake.'

'What should we do? It's an endangered animal eating an endangered plant!'