Julie Andrews Fan Gifts

'You'll have to give up wine and women. You can sing, but only Julie Andrews numbers.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Baby rocks!

'Cartoonist thinking'

Monster Clown

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

"You'll be part of a very large company. A small part of a very large company."

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

The Month of July

'Rain, rain, go away, come again another day'

Leopards do change their spots

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"So. . . how long have people NOT been laughing at you. . . ?"

"Have you noticed that the people who want to ban a film are the ones who wouldn't want to see it?"

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'We harbour few illusions here at Megatron Inc.'

"He's a quick learner."

Monsanto-Research Dept (Genetic Engineering) Publicity Dept (Frenetic Engineering)

Your Ad Here

'Mmmm. How do you get the custard so creamy? You must give me the recipie!'

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

'I decided I need something to draw the eye away from my bald patch.'

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

'Wow, now I see why you're so jolly all the time.'

Scents and Scentsibility. Jane Austen.

'This must be your son - I can see the resemblance.'

"I'm leaving you, Al. And I'm taking my mother and the cats with me." "Laughing on the outside, laughing on the inside."

"Dr. Lutz is the city's top funny bone man."

Roger Clemens: Innocent until proven guilty.

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

Pummping oil on troubled waters.

"Now you're thinking outside the box!"