Juicehead Jokester Gifts

"I did follow my bliss. It wandered around in circles and then ended up at an Arby's in Hoboken."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

Fleas Navidad.

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Men dancing

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"Maybe this year..."

Elf of the Month

C is for Cracker

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

"Guilty times infinity."

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Easter Island heads bunny ears.

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

'You can't borrow the sleigh tonight- it's Christmas Eve!'

"What's my laptop. Your old room is now the computer room."

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Small Clams Court