Juggling Jobs Aficionados Gifts

'I've got three jobs and it works great! As a diet consultant, I help people who got fat from too much pizza and as a mechanic, I repair the cars I wrecked on my pizza delivery tours.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Supermom.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"This is my first day. I don't have any yet."

Housewife with her toddler hooked on the end of the mop.

Working mother

Hunter-Gatherer, Agriculture, Services, Tech. . . Job-Hunter-Gatherer.

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

"I cased the joint, and it turns out they'll just give you money if you work thirty-five hours a week as a teller."

"I'm afraid the only thing we have in your line of work at the moment is a bingo caller in Milton Keynes."

"I could really get ahead at my two jobs if it weren't for that five letter vice I crave...SLEEP."

'Tell me about yourself. If I stay awake, you've got the job.'

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

The perils of working from home

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'The good news is I've got a part-time job. The bad news is I started the day with a full-time job.'

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

"Yes, I can multi-task. Why do you ask?"

"O.K., now—on three, I'm going to toss a second job in there!"

"Yes, I can multi-task. Why do you ask?"

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

"It's either "Bring your kid to work" day or it's "Drop of handbag in kindergarten" day today?"

"The demands of this job can place quite a burden on your family, so we recommend you fake your own death."

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

"It's hard to strike just the right balance. I didn't have enough fire in the belly for politics, but I seem to have too much for market research."