Juggling Jobs Gifts

"I could really get ahead at my two jobs if it weren't for that five letter vice I crave...SLEEP."

Children's Parties

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

Juggler and Illusionist

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Tennis ball girl.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

The Housewife

"I'll bet he knows what it's like to be a single working mother."

Medieval headlines.

"Your remote control, sire."

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

Circus

'No it's not him...mine's an Alsatian!'

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'