Second Job Juggler Gifts

'So THIS, Hartwelder, is how YOU spend your lunch hours?!'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Balancing work and family

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

Commutobile

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

Brickie's Mate

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'