Workplace Juggler Gifts

"Your raise comes with a pay cut."

Your computer says "work," but your skin says "Facebook."

"I'm going to run away and join a firm of accountants."

Yes, I can multi-task.

Man at sports arena sees plane pulling banner that tells him to get back to work.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Golfing Boss

Can do...No can do

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

Commutobile

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

Counting part time employees is the new math.

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

Deadline

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

Jason and the Aga notes,

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'