Job-hopping Juggler Gifts

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Supermom.

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Balancing work and family

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

"We don't have a grievance committee, but we have a grieving committee for fired employees."

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'