Career Juggler Gifts

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

"I don't have any qualifications, but I do have bags of energy and ethusiasm"

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

'No, I didn't get the promotion again: It's hard to build a career when you're on Maternity Leave every few months...'

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

'We're looking for someone who either has a good background or can concoct a good story about one.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

'I can see you doing very well in this organization, eventually replacing me. So.. you're fired!'

'Brilliant job, Rafferty. Advance two cubicles!'

'Let's just say that retiring my practice was a little premature.'

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

'Your previous employer hinted that you have a problem with chronic career self-sabotage. What's that all about?' 'Why don't you hire me, dummy, and find out for yourself?'

'Yes, I will marry you, Bob. I've decided I'd like having something to fall back on if my career tanks.'

I brought my dog along, to vouch for me.

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

Bob gets his walking papers.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

The slide continued: many of the staff took second jobs

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

If you are going to fact check my resume, I embellished the part about being an astronaut.

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'I remember you. Were you laid off from this company last month?'

'Degree in Psychology and a former Referee. I think your qualified to be a School Bus Driver.'

'During the work gap on my resume, between 2008 and 2012, I was working on my marriage.'

'So mum's going back to work. Do you have to go too??'

Balancing work and family

"I want to be a doctor. But I also want to be an accountant! Maybe I'll be a doctor who does her own taxes."

"Congratulations. I guess you're our new, unpaid skivvy... Sorry. I mean, intern."

"Our ideal employee can function without sleep while working a 120 hour week and is, of course, highly family oriented."