Judgmental Joker Pillows

Peculiar looking group of people talk about how strange they think the other guests at a public ball are

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

That party went well.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"Repeat after me..."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

'I got 10 years and my lawyer got 15!'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'