Judge's Day Gifts

'Must you be so judgemental?'

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Good boy."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

I love Lawyers

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Court's in recess!'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"You call this a constitution?"

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"