Jr Detective Gifts

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Torturing the English Language

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Barks in code.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

hard-boiled egg...

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'You know too much,'

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

A boy acting suspiciously

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

When Engineers Crack.

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

The Philip Marlow family

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"