Joyful Researcher Gifts

"This is quite a surprising discovery."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Bird sitting on a wing.

'I forgot the question.'

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

Brian works in stem cell research

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

A lab rat stares back at a scientist.

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

"I keep up with all the journals."

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

"Dude, I've never seen you so happy about a 'B' before."

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

'Are you sure Anderson is working on the Human Genome Project?'

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

'Granted we have to do the research. And we can do some research on the research. but I don't think we should get involved in research on research on research.'

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"He's a typical kid. Spends all day on that thing doing his genetic sequencing."

Speech bubble showing EUREKA! back to front.