Jolly Singer Pillows

'...Tis the season to be grazing, fa la la la la, la la la la. The weight we'll gain will be amazing, fa la la la, la la la la. Don we now our stretchy sweat pants, fa la la la la, la la la la. We'll be eating tons of pecans...'

Fleas Navidad.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Merry Christmas"

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Santa's Helpers

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Maybe this year..."

Elf of the Month

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

Santa School.

Santa entering a pool for a swim

C is for Cracker

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

Easter Island heads bunny ears.

'You can't borrow the sleigh tonight- it's Christmas Eve!'

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

'Wear them on thanksgiving instead.'

"Listen, everybody feels a little depressed around this time of year!"

A man seeking truth encounters a clown.

Santa Playing the Piano