Jolly Banker Pillows

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Fleas Navidad.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Santa's Helpers

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Maybe this year..."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Elf of the Month

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

C is for Cracker

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

Santa School.

Santa entering a pool for a swim

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

Easter Island heads bunny ears.

'Wear them on thanksgiving instead.'

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

'You can't borrow the sleigh tonight- it's Christmas Eve!'

A man seeking truth encounters a clown.