Jolly Banker Pillows

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

Santa's Helpers

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Elf of the Month

"Maybe this year..."

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

C is for Cracker

Santa School.

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

Santa entering a pool for a swim

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

'You can't borrow the sleigh tonight- it's Christmas Eve!'

'Wear them on thanksgiving instead.'

A man seeking truth encounters a clown.