Jolly Bargainer Pillows

'I wasn't as good as I should have been or as bad as I could have been.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

How much would you take off for cash?

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

Farmers Telemarket. That's right. Beans for just $.10 a carton. Ma'am, would you like a month's worth of corn absolutely free? We'll even switch your onions for you!

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

'You don't have to stay in a motel. I have a couch you can rent.'

'Stocks tumbled on the news Santa's credit rating was downgraded.'

'We've had plenty of interest in this one. It's been our 'Special Of The Week' for months.'

'Buy one get one free' signs coming out of the ground - 'I'm growing them for Tescos'.

'The best things in life are buy one get one free.'

'I can't talk now. I'm in the annual meeting.'

'You help me with my homework and I'll help you with the timer on the video recorder!'

In his inimitable way, Carl quickly sucks the romance out of his and Diane's 15th anniversary dinner.

'We've finally found a candidate that can really deliver.'

Man flattered into buying by a frenchwoman

'That's the price of the balloon, but you get the car with it.'

Lemonade, 50? ? After 25? mail-in rebate.

'Trust in God, but count your change.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

"Ten percent off if you repeat those funny noises your car is making for the boys."

Hotel checkout.

"It's a third off the price actually, Bert."

"You wish you could give us a deal because we look like 'Nice People'? We're your parents, for cryin' out loud!"

"I'm afraid you've stimulated the economy enough now, sir."

"She really could shop."