Amusing Banker Pillows

'Today I celebrate paying off my student loans!'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

Harvest Data Festival

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

Business Fairy Tales.

"The tooth fairy direct-deposited your quarter."

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

Actually, I'm not aware that it's a constitutional right to get an allowance...

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"Hands up!"

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

PANIC!

"We fire pound coins at each other at high speeds and hope for the best ..."

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'