Amusing Banker T-Shirts

'Today I celebrate paying off my student loans!'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Secret Identity Theft.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

Harvest Data Festival

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

"The tooth fairy direct-deposited your quarter."

Business Fairy Tales.

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Actually, I'm not aware that it's a constitutional right to get an allowance...

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"Hands up!"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

PANIC!

"We fire pound coins at each other at high speeds and hope for the best ..."

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'