Ironic Banker Pillows

'The guy who hacked our banks' computer has transfered 10,- to us when he saw our balance...'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

At The Clown Bank.

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

Secret Identity Theft.

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

I was more a financial magician myself. I could make money disappear very easily.

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

"The tooth fairy direct-deposited your quarter."

Business Fairy Tales.

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'