Boggling Banker Pillows

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"We've got an application from a bank asking if we'd like to sponsor a branch."

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

Business Fairy Tales.

"The tooth fairy direct-deposited your quarter."

"Simply swipe your card, enter the pin, and a pot of gold will be deposited into your account within two working days."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Actually, I'm not aware that it's a constitutional right to get an allowance...

Plimbco Bank & Trust, old money division.

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

"We fire pound coins at each other at high speeds and hope for the best ..."

Extreme Accounting!

Updated Classic: Treasury Island

Forgot My Mother's Maiden Name.

'I tried to take some money from the kitty like you said, but she wouldn't let me!'

'Could I have a loan of a cup of sugar please?'

'And the name of your bank please?'

'I said... oh, forget it!'

"Our checks bounced again."

'Unfortunately Mr Jones, we're unable to approve your loan application... I'm afraid you're over-drawn!'

'It doesn't look good, Sir -- they're all bringing back their toasters!'

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'

Stock Tips: $5 - 'What not to buy'

'So, you're a serious investor? Lighten up!'

'I don't either have to pay a penalty for early withdrawal!'

"Yes, we do make car loans, but you CAN'T borrow my car."

Jesus really does save.

"No wonder I got it so cheap!"

'I'm sure it is precious to you Mr Figgins, but I'm afraid I can't accept it as collateral.'

"See! It wasn't because I'm poor, it's because I'm a horrible person!"

'They didn't believe me.'