Joking Oenophile Pillows

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"I make it myself!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

The Female Brain and The Other One

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"I think you may be getting them mixed up-Perot is the one with charts, and Perdue is the one with chickens."

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Sick polar bear humour...

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

'Here comes the pimp.'

'You have an impressive cellar.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't collect on your mate's life insurance until he's died nine times.'

'Dad, I've joined the Police: The Taser Unit!'

'You paid three goats for this? Robertus Parkerus only rated it LXXIV.'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Not much to show for 25 years of investing in wine--unless maybe you add back the 9,000 empties!'

'There's something different about the vicar, He seems louder,'

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'Bob, I think I hate people.'

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'