Joking Oenophile Gifts

"Something from our wine list?"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"I make it myself!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

The Female Brain and The Other One

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"I think you may be getting them mixed up-Perot is the one with charts, and Perdue is the one with chickens."

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Sick polar bear humour...

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

'You have an impressive cellar.'

'Here comes the pimp.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'Dad, I've joined the Police: The Taser Unit!'

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can't collect on your mate's life insurance until he's died nine times.'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'Not much to show for 25 years of investing in wine--unless maybe you add back the 9,000 empties!'

'You paid three goats for this? Robertus Parkerus only rated it LXXIV.'

Wine Tasting Class. We judge champagne differently than we do other wines. Ah, a bubble standard!

Early Greek Humor. I love Aristotle, but oh, Eu-clid!

'There's something different about the vicar, He seems louder,'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'Bob, I think I hate people.'

"Have you seen my sticks?"

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."