Oenophile Journeys Gifts

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"I make it myself!"

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

World's cheapest car

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

'Sorry I'm late, Fred. I forgot to plug in the car.'

"I know it can drive itself. I'd buy it if it could pay for itself."

'You have an impressive cellar.'

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

"This cabernet sauvignon will have you feeling more like yourself in no time."

"They've replaced the company car."

Paradise: Collection of wine

"Charles, would you be my vintner?"

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'Dad, I've joined the Police: The Taser Unit!'

'It's time to retire from the winemaking business, Maurice - Just look at your skin-to-pulp ratio.'

'How do I know we need to turn down the filtration system? - This is our cabernet sauvignon.'

'It's because I have a big head, isn't it?'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

Wine Tasting Class. We judge champagne differently than we do other wines. Ah, a bubble standard!

'Not much to show for 25 years of investing in wine--unless maybe you add back the 9,000 empties!'

'You paid three goats for this? Robertus Parkerus only rated it LXXIV.'