Oenophile Humor Pillows

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."

Epitaph - Wine Connoisseur, complex, good nose, rather dry.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"I make it myself!"

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

'You have an impressive cellar.'

"Something from our wine list?"

"The ad was a typo. We're looking for an expert in fingerprinting...not finger painting."

Paradise: Collection of wine

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'It's the law of the puszta, son. Them tripping on a banana skin, that's funny. Us tripping on a banana skin, that's a conspiracy!'

'You paid three goats for this? Robertus Parkerus only rated it LXXIV.'

"Incentivize me with a paradigm of mesculin greens and grilled chicken."

'This is the 1927 Georges de Latour you bought us for our anniversary, son. Mom spruced it up nicely with orange soda and melon balls.'

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

"Horse-drawn carriage."

'Not much to show for 25 years of investing in wine--unless maybe you add back the 9,000 empties!'

Wine Tasting Class. We judge champagne differently than we do other wines. Ah, a bubble standard!

'Dad's not getting the hang of the new technology, is he?'

Nickel-and-dimed to death.

'Are you willing to carry a chip on your shoulder.'

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

"Have you ever seen a cow slip under a hedge?"

Origami Craft Store - Out of business, folded.