Jokester-in-training Pillows

"I know it's only a knock-knock joke, but you wouldn't say it unless there was some truth in it."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"I hate this time of year."

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

Poisson d'Avril!

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

Cleaning the Horse

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'