Joke Raconteurs Gifts

Wash your hands. . . like you just shook his hand.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Shampoo.

Middle-Age Superheroes

How about going easy on the carbs

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

Giraffe wanders into Lion country.

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'I'm not being funny, right, but ...'

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

"Why can't you evolve into something I can be proud of?:"

"Me too! Let's get some beers!"

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

"I'm glad you think it's funny."

Bull Pen