Joke Raconteurs Mugs

Wash your hands. . . like you just shook his hand.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Shampoo.

How about going easy on the carbs

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

Extremely Practical Jokes.

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

Giraffe wanders into Lion country.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Bull Pen

'I'm not being funny, right, but ...'

"Me too! Let's get some beers!"

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

"I'm glad you think it's funny."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."