Joke Curator Gifts

Fish Row

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Clown's Comedy Fart.

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Suffering from Cooties?

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Useless add-ons.

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Eat me"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

A Snowman using a Pooper-Scooper to pick up his Dog's ice cube Doo Doo

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

Higher wisdom...

"Amateurs."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'