Festive Joke Curator Gifts

Christmas Cracker Joke Editor.

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

A Snowman using a Pooper-Scooper to pick up his Dog's ice cube Doo Doo

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Christmas Presents.

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

C.P.A.

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"