Joke Curator Prints

Fish Row

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Suffering from Cooties?

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Eat me"

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Useless add-ons.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

A Snowman using a Pooper-Scooper to pick up his Dog's ice cube Doo Doo

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Higher wisdom...

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

"Amateurs."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'