Joke-cracking Guitarist Gifts

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Man, I'm bombing,'

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Early music

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

'Pluck me.'

Serpent Instrument player

'We got Ethan this accordion to make some extra money. People pay him not to play it.'

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'How can you tell?'

"What do I do when I get to the top?"

Bass Camp

The woodwind section

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

Classical Customer Information - "How long is a piece of string quartet?"

"And this time, Figgis, try to play it as if you are not using 'forged notes'."

Big Al's Banjo, Accordion, and Bagpipe Palace - Closed due to Geneva Convention

My other violin is a Stradivari