Joining The Army Pillows

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

Young man asking his governer to buy him a commission in the army

Army Training

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Will you have any objection to wearing your headgear the right way round?"

Servicemen.

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'Slip Ahoy!'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'...and this is the Mess.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

Banting in the Yeomanry

Submariners' Eye Test.

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

"I liked the one that saluted."

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

'Dad, I want to drive an army tank when I'm older.'

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

'Relax - everyone's a bit scared on their first raid.'

Sympathy