Army Recruits Pillows

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

"I heard the military is downsizing, but this is #&@! ridiculous."

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

'I was headhunted.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'...and this is the Mess.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

Banting in the Yeomanry

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

Mess Hall. The new recruit was assigned to kitchen duty. We have a private chef!

'I may scream at you occasionally. Pay no attention. I may rant and rave...pay no attention...I may even fire you occasionally. PAY ATTENTION!'

"I liked the one that saluted."

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

'Relax - everyone's a bit scared on their first raid.'

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

Young man asking his governer to buy him a commission in the army

'You know the rule, new guy carries the lotion.'

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

Military ardour.

"He wants to be a Navy Seal when he grows up."

'By the way, what are we in line for?'