Enlistment In The Army Pillows

Sympathy

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'Slip Ahoy!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'...and this is the Mess.'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

"I liked the one that saluted."

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

'Check... weapons... maps... house-wife... clean underwear...'

Young man asking his governer to buy him a commission in the army

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

'Relax - everyone's a bit scared on their first raid.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

Plastidad

"Your resume is impressive."

"In the mid 60s I received both my draft card and a Valentine's Day card on February 14th. Being a conscientious objector to both love and war, I burned both cards."

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 7

Considerate Attention

"And look, Papa, he shaves."

'Sorry son, you can't join: You're flat-footed...'

"And why exactly do you want to join the army?"