Joining A Homeowners Association Gifts

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"The pH level seems a little off."

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

"Decaf for me, Peter."

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

I hurt my back and then a pipe broke flooding my house

'It has to have big living room, he has a sixty inch rock.'

"We have a termite problem."

How Will You Spend Your Extra $5 an Hour?

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

We have enough money to build it, but nothing left for furniture. Never start something you can't furnish!

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

Americans More Optimistic

"Homeowner please help."

'My life is so awesome! I've got a starter job, starter house and a starter husband.'

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'The good news is it's not mice.'

Home Improvement