Joining A Homeowners Association Gifts

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"The pH level seems a little off."

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"Decaf for me, Peter."

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'

'It has to have big living room, he has a sixty inch rock.'

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

"Homeowner please help."

"We have a termite problem."

'My life is so awesome! I've got a starter job, starter house and a starter husband.'

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'The good news is it's not mice.'

Home Improvement

'I guess I should have paid the foundation bill.'