Joining A Church Committee Gifts

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

'Hanson - committee of four.'

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

Midwest Winter Items.

'It may not be our usual business lunch, but it will sure impress the hell out of the budget committee.'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'Okay, let's go over this again: You tell me your great ideas, I repeat them back to you, then you tell me I have a great idea and I get all the credit for it!'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

Plain English group.

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

Church Restoration Fund.

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

"All those in favor Retweet."

"The Board just wants to be sure you're well supported."

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

Conclave.

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

'That's it, in a nutshell.'

'Excellent - it's unanimous!'

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

"I suppose the first thing to do is form an escape committee."

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

Senate ethics committee - no fatties!

'We're donating our organist to science.'

"Can we discuss this?"

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

'Ed here has some sort of problem with his membership on the visitation committee, Reverend.'

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'