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The Wrath of Grapes

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

Gen-Next Library

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"I'm still pre-literate."

'A is for Arse.'

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Examination.

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

'Bront?saurus.'

"Shift’s over, Ed. I’ll take it from here."

Jane Austen

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

The Swiss Arm-y Wife

Books*. *Batteries not included.

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

The fifth generation computer thinking it over- 'Now that there gone I'll get to work on the sixth generation.'

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

In hindsight, wearing my watch in the time machine probably wasn't my best idea ever.

What Started the Incident at Roswell

"You've reached Randy, the Dating Doctor. What ails you?...."