Jocular Birthday Celebrant Gifts

"Why are we getting 'Old Spooky' spectacles for his birthday?" -- "So he can read his correct date of birth!!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Bubbly

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Robot Jogger

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

Poisson d'Avril!

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

The first birthday gift.

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

Life begins at 60

"OK, I'll tell you what I know, but I can't reveal my source."

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

Handel sitting on a piano

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

A drum covered in candles

"She just uses all that make-up to hide her age."

Man holding a birthday cake.

Alien Birthdays...

'I must be getting older, the cards joking about my age just don't seem as funny anymore'