Job Transition Jester Gifts

"You cleaned out your desk so efficiently you've been rehired and placed in charge of Housekeeping."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Work Parfait

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

Born In Captivity.

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

Caged Businessman

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."