Job Transition Jester T-Shirts

"You cleaned out your desk so efficiently you've been rehired and placed in charge of Housekeeping."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Work Parfait

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

Born In Captivity.

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Welcome aboard. We will endeavor to treat you with dignity and respect. Now get you and your stupid face out of my office."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Caged Businessman

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'