Job Title Juggler Gifts

It's the best I can offer you at the moment. Assistant Acting Deputy to the Manager.

I was hired as a receptionist and when I got my degree, I got a promotion.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Children's Parties

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"The meeting will come to order."

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Balancing work and family

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

Brickie's Mate

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'